Discoveries

In recent days, I have been working on photo books for our two foster boys, one, so we will have them on hand should circumstances rapidly change and they be returned to biological family, and two, because a couple of weeks ago, within a matter of a few days, I received coupons for two free books! Definitely a deal I couldn't pass up!

I worked on the book for the younger of the two first, mainly because I had already started his. I also assumed that it would be the easier of the two from an emotional standpoint (he's my baby) and because I have far more good pictures of him; he's just that photogenic!

Today, I began to work on the one for our older son. I honestly cannot say that I was looking forward to the experience. I wasn't dreading it either, but I just wasn't super excited about the prospect of spending my time that way. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the product, and what I came to realize as a result of my efforts.

It's been no secret that our oldest has had some trouble, and that I for one, have not always handled his pain well, or even at all. He struggles often, unable to contain the fury that rages within him. He rages in a manner that grates on me, resulting in a tumultuous relationship between us at the very least.  It has certainly been difficult.

Today, however was different.

As I worked on his book, I realized that I really do love him, that the words "I love you" are not just something that I say; I really do mean it. That he is "my boy", as I am always calling him. That he is a part of my family, and that I wouldn't know what to do without him in my home.

I realize that the change of heart was certainly a God thing; only He can take the aching hearts of two of His children and graft them together in such a wonderful manner. This change comes after much prayer, on my part as well as that of many others. It is also a work in progress.

I'm sure there will be many more difficult days ahead. Fostering/adopting is not for the faint of heart. But I do know that no matter what happens, with these boys or with any other children who may enter our home, that God is in control, and by His grace, we can live in peaceful harmony together, loving each other in spite of what life throws at us.

So excused me while I go find "My boy." He needs a hug!

Learning Together

Grandparent’s day was yesterday, and in light of the fact that I am sitting in my office listening to the school from across the parking lot (our church leases our educational building to a school during the week and they borrow our sanctuary for larger events) in their recognition of this day, and the fact that it was the first time we were able celebrate with my parents, even as foster grandparents, I have been contemplating my childhood and all it entailed.

Growing up was an adventure in my house. With five children, there was never a dull moment; someone was always up to something. Activity was often found at a frenetic pace, silence at a minimum. Chaos seemed to reign; all the while a carefully balanced order stabilized the disarray. 

I learned much from my parents. They taught me all the basics; daily living skills like washing behind my ears, respect for my elders, what manners are and how to mind them, to never give up, to obey the first time and without complaining. They also pointed me towards God, not in words alone, but by faith-filled example.

Since becoming a parent four months ago, I have come to appreciate their influence more than I ever have. Their love for my children, who are not yet fully mine and may never be, is encouraging; their support of my husband and I indispensable and very much appreciated.

 My parents have taught me much, so summarizing and categorizing all they have poured into my life is difficult, especially since I discover something new daily. But in honor of them, here is my effort to vocalize my appreciation of who they are.

My parents taught me to-

     Love

       God first, with all I am.  Family is second; they are your support system, you are family for life. Everyone needs unconditional love, even the neighbor who doesn’t seem to deserve it. By showing acceptance of others, giving honor and respect to everyone who crosses your path, no matter what their status in life, we glorify God and show our love for Him.

     

     Laugh

       Frequently! It’s good exercise and makes for a happy home. It also strengthens your dependence on God when you exhibit joy even in hard times.

     Learn

       From others. No matter what their age. Be teachable at every turn; learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before you, from the inexperience and exuberance of those who have not. Most of all learn from what God himself is teaching you in each and every moment

     Live

       Wholeheartedly. Do everything to the best of your ability, and don’t compare yourself to others; if you’ve done your best then there is nothing to be ashamed of! Colossians 3:23 has long been a favorite of mine because of this mentality.

     Listen

       For the voice of God. The still small voice whispering in your heart will have the greatest impact of any that my physically bombard, if you give ear to what it is saying.

My parents have impacted my life in profound ways, and I could recount story after story for each of the afore mentioned lessons, would time allow. For now however, it will have to be enough to say, “Thanks mom and dad!” My hope and prayer is that, with God’s help, I can be a parent like them. Imperfectly striving to be more like Jesus every day, learning what it means to live and be family together in our unconventional, God ordained way.